I saw this competition on the Twitter page of Elle. After kicking myself for not seeing it sooner, I set about trying to write the entry I would’ve submitted. It seemed so easy, write a 500 word essay on the theme ‘#relationshipgoals’. It could be about your relationship with anyone and what you want from it. Little did I know it would take me at least 6 days to write the first sentence.
I, like most other girls, have been raised on a steady diet of Disney, fairytales and happily ever afters. However, this has also been mixed in with the ‘social media’ generation that we are currently in where everything is Instagrammed, Tweeted, Facebooked, Pinned and whatever other sharing platform there is. These all combine to make me want to be an independant person with a white knight by my side that supports me all the way and, the more I thought about it, the more I realised that I have that. My relationship with my family, friends and partner each offer me support in various parts of my life – everything! After yet another distracted dinner, my other half frustratedly shouted ‘well, who DO you want a better relationship with?” and, without thinking about it, I shouted back “ME!”.
A lot of thought, and distracted dinners, later I realised that it was true. There is no point working on relationships with other important people in my life until I decide what I like about myself, what I want from life and what I don’t. Atm, even though I am 26, I have no idea. In fact, I call it a quarter life crisis. When I left Coventry University I believed that I would become a news presenter, preferably for BBC or ITV, but quickly found that you needed experience for that and I was not in the position to fund myself through that. I gave up and turned to simply settling for a job that would provide me with the funds to pay my bills. I think I’ve been settling ever since and that’s where my problems lie.
For the last 4-5 years I have been happy with ‘just enough’. ‘Just enough’ communication with my brother, ‘just enough’ followers on my blog, ‘just enough’ free time interspersed with working and ‘just enough’ money to live comfortably. I’ve decided that it’s not enough to simply get by, I want to live a truly happy life. It’s a work in progress and, honestly, I believe it will forever be a work in progress but I am trying daily to think about myself a little more. To find parts of myself, even if just one, that I really like and build on those that I am not so confident on. Like most people, I will never be 100% happy with my body or personality. There will always be people smarter than me, prettier, successful, popular but I will try (I say try..there will be times where I fail) to realise their lives are not my own and, as long as I am happy with what I have, then I shouldn’t try to constantly have what others have.
So this morning, and every morning for the last two weeks, I have interspersed work that I get paid for with things that I want to do, listed three things every morning that are positive about me and spent time dressing how I want to. Tell you what, it’s working fantastically..so far!